It is 10pm on Thursday evening. Isamaya receives an email from Mike.

These messages were sent while you were offline.

 

From Mike:This is really weird. Just came over to the Bells to celebrate Mand's birthday with a steak and a pint, and there's a guy sitting next to me, skinny with eye liner, and diagonally opposite,a girl, rather full, with a voice at least one octave lower than the guy 'she' is talking to... Xxx

The family are at a wedding party. It is almost midnight and Isamaya has just left to go home.

Mike: "Excuse me I have to go and see where Ian went off to"

 Mike rushes off, manically dashing in and out of the wedding crowd. He finds Angela and Kerstyn in a corner. 

Mike: Where is he?

Angela: Who?

Mike: Ian

Angela: I don't know!

Mike: Where is he?

Kerstyn: Who?

Mike: Ian! who do you think!

Kerstyn: I don't know? Probably gone to the toilet?

Mike: Oh, for goodness sake!

Mike, looking frustrated, rushes off to look for Ian. 

Later, Mike returns, emerging out of the crowd in a sweat and seemingly very put off, to find Ian standing with Kerstyn and Angela.

Mike: Where the hell have you been?! I have been looking for you everywhere!

Ian: I went to the loo. Just been standing here for an hour.

Mike looks accusingly at Ian

Mike: I just went in there looking for you!

It later transpires, Mike had broken into the middle of a dance circle and ecstatically won a dance-off.

It is mid August. Isamaya has just returned home from a holiday to the Lake District. Mike and Angela have also been away for an extended holiday to the Sailing Club in Waterbeach.
It is mid afternoon and Isamaya goes into the kitchen to look for something to eat. She comes across some eggs in the fridge. She takes a couple out and puts them on the sideboard. Mike, clearly stalking her and seeing the eggs,  rushes past her and over to the fridge, blasting open the fridge door and rattling the contents in the trays.

Mike: (Grabbing a handful of eggs, himself) Omelette Wiz? 
Isamaya: I was just about to make one actually.
Mike: Oh?! I see. Are we going to 'lunch' together?

Isamaya looks at the eggs and see's they are over a month out of date.

Isamaya: Actually, I think I'll have something else, these eggs are out of date.
Mike: (looking incredulous) What? No they are not!
Isamaya: Yes they are. They went out of date on the 17th July.
Mike: Don't be ridiculous! I bought them only two days ago.
Isamaya: Dad, you were on holiday two days ago.
Mike: Oh all right, last week then.
Isamaya: Cool, whatever. I'm having something else.
Mike: What?! 

Mike snatches the egg out of Isamaya's hand.

Mike: Where does it say that?

Isamaya points to the red BB stamp which clearly reads 'BB 17 JUL'

Mike: Well, I just don't know what's going on here? I bought them last week?

He rolls the egg around in his hand looking confused.
Isamaya begins searching for an alternative lunch on the other fridge shelves.

Mike: I just don't understand what's going on.

The next few items that Isamaya pulls out are also well past their sell by date, to the point of a light coating of 'fuz' covering the Farmhouse Cheddar and Tesco Olives.

Mike sees the Olives.

Mike: They should be fine, just check for fur. Here, have an egg.. Shall I boil it for you?

Mike is already bashing pans about onto the stove.

Isamaya: I think I will just have some toast.
Mike: Oh don't be bloody ridiculous, here, just drop them in a pan of water and see if they float. If they don't then they are fine.
Isamaya: I'm fine, thanks.
Mike: Oh Isamaya! What is wrong with you? What do you think they did in the Victorian times?

Isamaya begins chopping at some some hardened Granary Bread.

Mike: Here! 

He thrusts an egg at her

Isamaya: I don't want it.
Mike: (looking disbelieving) Just go and drop it in a pan of water!
Isamaya: No.

Mike stares hard at Isamaya. He rushes off to the bathroom to fill a bucket of water. Two minutes later, he is back with the bucket and the eggs, bouncing around in the water in disorientation.

Mike: See! They're fine! look!  None of them float!

Mike stares at Isamaya, beaming at her.  Isamaya walks away with her toast. 

Mike, now frowning, bellows after her.

Mike: What has happened to you?! You've become neurotic!... Such a waste!

--

The next day, Isamaya goes round to Guest Road to meet Angela and pick up some clothes.
She finds Mike and Angela mid lunch. Piles of eggs have been boiled and put out on the table.

Mike: Omelette, Isamaya? 

'' I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine. ''

Isamaya's Grandad is in Hospital having suffered a heart attack. She texts Mike to ask him if Grandad is OK. 

She arrives home to an email response.

Subject: Getting out tomorrow??

Had a bizarre evening with granddad last night. The Seascale drama was in full swing and there were four guys in the short term intensive care unit including granddad. Each of them was wired with about seven wires and had tubes hanging out of their arms. Wires led to junction boxes and then to monitors, with echoes at the desk. Except granddad, who had the luxury of the only wireless system in the ward, but still all the connections.

I had my phone on (tut, tut) waiting for a number which Cathy wanted me to relay, and an incoming text makes two shrill descending double bleeps on my phone. For some reason I'm receiving double texts at present, the second copy arriving 5 or 6 seconds after the first. Each time one of these chaps moved a wire seemed to come off setting off a loud harsh alarm at 2 second intervals in addition to the various bleeps and chirps which were coming out of the monitors. Granddad is deaf and was intermittently putting on and removing the amplified headphones I had taken for him (he refuses to use his hearing aid in case he loses it - ever!). At one point three alarms were going off, with a loud conversation going on across the ward with inevitable mis-understandings and corrections. The nurses were on 'hand over' so they were too busy transferring notes to come and reconnect. 

In the middle of this cacophony I started to receive double texts from various members of the family and friends both related to granddad and also to the Seascale drama, just as I was switching granddads tv/phone assy. on (under his instruction) and it immediately started to ring with Tim on the end.  As each text text :) was doubled, the first alerted those of sound hearing, the second confirming whose pocket it was coming from. No sooner had granddad started his noisy conversation with Tim, than the nurse came in shouting "Roy, Roy, there's a call from you daughter at the desk."  I was quite glad to get out!

You'll be pleased to hear that he has responded to a change of drugs, his pulse and blood pressure have both come down significantly (despite the audio-tronics!!). I've just heard they've given him an anti-biotic for a possible chest infection, but with a fair wind he may be going home tomorrow; he's gearing up for his 90th birthday next week.

xxx

Isamaya has borrowed a sewing machine from Angela. After returning it, she arrives home to receive an angry phone call from Mike claiming all the parts were missing.
After a lengthy dispute about the whereabouts of these parts, Isamaya ends the conversation in frustration. Four hours later, Isamaya receives an email from Mike.

Good news :) There was another tool holder, so we've found the brush, tweezers and allen keys. I think it's just the foam pad and short philips head screwdriver for the needle clamp missing now.

xxxx  

Isamaya receives an email from Mike

At last I've found a use for the old enlarging lens  :)

These are just screen dumps because the files are quite large, the lower one (blown up) is a fragment of fluff over her eyebrow!

xxx

Isamaya receives an email from Mike.

No purchase required, look at the image.
A flavour and a picture before the 8th October. You may win  £50,000 and it's a good exercise. 

xx

Isamaya is on her way to a family wedding in London. She has arranged to meet Mike and Angela there.  They are coming from Cambridge. Mike calls her in a panic.

Isamaya: Hello?
Mike: Wiz, where are you?
Isamaya: On my way to the wedding.
Mike: Wiz, we are having horrendous problems. We broke down on the M11 which had severe delays - pretty much backlogged traffic, total chaos, and we have had to come back to Cambridge and are now at the station waiting for the train-
Isamaya: Okay.
Mike: I'm absolutely desperate here, Rhoda is struggling because she is so fat, so I have had to put her in my rucksack, I've got Mum on the other side battling with our suitcases, we are desperately trying to get onto the platform!!
Isamaya: Okay, what do you want me to do?
Mike: Have you spoken to Aethan?
Isamaya: No?
Mike: He's got his phone switched off - I think it's so that we can't call him.
Isamaya: He probably just has no signal.
Mike: Do you know when he's going back to Birmingham?
Isamaya: No?
Mike: Well has he told you anything?
Isamaya: No, sorry - look I don't know what you want me to do.. shall I call him?
Mike: (sounds annoyed) No don't bother. 
Isamaya: Look sorry Dad, I don't know what I can do to help you.. I'm in London.
Mike: Oh. Well thanks very much Wiz. I suppose we will be seeing you later then.
Isamaya: Ok? Bye then.
Mike: Bye.

Subject: National Insurance Number

From Isamaya:
Hi Dad, Im just in a meeting so I really cant talk. Please please could you email me my national insurance number so I can sign this form.  thanks! X

From Mike:
I'm a little sad that you felt too intimidated to talk to me, just had the number ready to give you.  Do you need the one starting 20? Better call me;  the other one has five digits: the first is the number of k's house  followed by the number of children AE has had followed by the number of children k has had three times :-)

Isamaya is walking to work and her phone rings. It's Mike.

Mike: Hi.
Isamaya: Hi Dad. You Ok?
Mike: Good, Yes. You?
Isamaya: Fine tha-
Mike: Feeling pretty pumped now.
Isamaya: Yeh?
Mike: Just finished my training.
Isamaya: Your training?
Mike: Oh didn't you know?
Isamaya: ...?
Mike: Yes, I do my 5BX daily.
Isamaya: Whats your '5BX'?
Mike: Oh? Sorry? it's the Royal Canadian Air-force Training plan. Maybe I should send you a link. You wont need any equipment. 

Isamaya comes home to find Mike on the floor of the livingroom, elbows bent, in a plank position. He is wedged between the sofa, the coffee table and the dogs basket. BBC Radio 4 is blasting 'Womans Hour' out of the DAB and the television is on.

Isamaya: What are you doing?
Mike: Minding my own business, what are you doing?