Isamaya and Joe are walking home. They are very good friends and Joe has a long term girlfriend. Joe is going to stay the night at Isamaya's house. Isamaya has just rung home to tell Mike and Angela that he is staying round and they can sleep top to tail.
When they arrive home there is havoc in Isamaya's bedroom. Angela and Mike are frantically trying to find pillows, duvets, sleeping bags and make up a bed on him on the floor.

Isamaya: What the hell is going on! Get out of my room!
Joe: Hi Mike, Hi Angela

(Angela smiles at Joe but Mike does not acknowledge his greeting)

Mike: Look, Uncle Tim's staying round tonight so Joe cant sleep on the sofa.
Isamaya: Er I know, and i said he was going to sleep at the other end of my bed on the phone.
Mike: Look just be helpful will you and get some more pillows.
Isamaya: Dad! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!
Mike: Isamaya. Stop it and stop getting in everyones way will you
Isamaya: Dad. WE can sort out sleeping arrangements, look at the mess in my room. What the hell have you been doing in here? Just get out.

(Angela storms out of the room shouting 'You're just being bloody rude to your father and I')
(Joe is sitting on the bed looking a little bit perplexed)

Joe:... I could just go home if its easier?
Isamaya: No! stay right there. For gods sake Dad- I cannot believe this. You have never EVER made a bed for Eloise, Ellie or Arijana?

(Mike continues to run around frantically throwing pillows and blankets together on the floor)

Isamaya: GET OUT. We can do this. I am not gong to HAVE SEX WITH JOE!
Mike: Who ever said anything about having sex?
Isamaya: Then why are you making another bed?
Mike: Because i'm a solicitous individual.
Isamaya: Then why didn't you even say 'Hello' to Joe
Mike: Hello Joe.

Kerstyn has just spent the weekend in Cambridge. She is telling Isamaya about a conversation she had with Mike.
(Kerstyn is in the Kitchen trying to make Enego some lunch. Mike comes in to see what she is doing)
What are you doing?Just trying to find something for Enego's lunch. Do you have any cheese?
Oh look, mind out, yes i'll look in the fridge...
Oh where is it...Its over there, behind the gherkins.
No no, i'm looking for something else. Some garlic erm.. What are they called..?Garlic bread?
No! No, oh where are they- i bet Isamaya's bloody well eaten them hasn't she.What are you talking about? She's in London?
Oh where are they. Garlic whatdyoumacallits.(Kerstyn stands back as Mike is becoming a little frantic)
Ah Ha! Here they are.Garlic sausages?!
Dad, Isamaya is vegetarian hasn't eaten meat for over 6 months.
Oh, yes but she always nibbles at everything and just has a little bit.Of meat?

Mike and Angela have gone to the Peak district and have left Isamaya at home. She has wet hair and needs a hairdryer but finds that her parents bedroom is locked.
She telephones mike.
Yes, what?
Hi dad. could you please tell me where the key to your bedroom is
Why?
Because i have soaking wet hair and need to use mums hairdryer
Look! this is unacceptable Isamaya. I like to be able to lock my house securely when I go away.
Dad but i'll be here..
No, you'll never find it. It's far to hard to explain.
Please dad, for goodness sake! all i want is the hairdryer.
In your room, under the piano is a fan heater for heating the room. Use that.
Are you actually being serious?
Yes.
Dad, i cant use a fan heater to dry my hair. Do you know how heavy that thing is?
Oh Isamaya... but you'll never find it. Its in a very awkward place.
Please Dad. Please.


Its underneath the carpet on the 3rd stair.

Isamaya comes downstairs to be confronted by Mike who had been watching her make lunch earlier.
You don't know where the can of tuna has gone do you?
Er yes why?
Well it's disappeared. you wouldn't know its whereabouts would you?
I ate it earlier.
Yes. And you didn't replace it.
What?
You just take things without asking! How was i supposed to know we had run out of tuna. what if i wanted to use it to make tuna mayonaise? Just take take take isn't it.
Dad you watched me make lunch and i bought milk and eggs and bread yesterday. Are you joking?
No i am not! That is not the point. We have not yet run out of milk and eggs. I expect you to tell me when you eat something because then i can make a note of it.

Mike is on the computer looking at mobile phone reviews.

Dad?
What?
I've just had a slice of toast.
Oh.
And some Broccoli.
What?
And 3 tomatoes.
And 1/4 packet of lettuce.
And 2 brazil nuts.
And some balsamic vinegar
And 3 olives
And a potato.
And a piece of tobelerone.
And a yogurt.
And an apple.
Are you finished Isamaya.
No i also had milk in my tea.
Go away.

Isamaya is in the kitchen looking for something to make for lunch.
Dad? Can i eat this frozen seafood selection in the freezer?
Well i was going to turn that into a stirfry.
What about these prawns?
Stirfry.
All three boxes of prawns?
Stirfry.

Mike and Angela come home from the supermarket with full bags of shopping.
Hi. Is there anything that i can eat for dinner?
Er yes... Theres this chicken here.
Dad. I'm VEGETARIAN.

Isamaya's mobile phone starts to ring. It's Mike.
Hello?
Hi wiz. how far away are you
I'm at Queen Elisabeth bridge so about 10 minutes why?
You don't know whats happend to all the pork pies do you?
Dad. I'm a VEGETARIAN
Well i know but you haven't eaten them have you?
Isamaya hangs up.